  Taming of the Shrew 驯悍有方

  A man was talking to his friend about how he hated to go home after a late card game.
  一们男士正在向他的朋友讲述他打牌打晚了是如何害怕回家。

  "You wouldn't believe what I go through to avoid waking my wife," he said. "First, I kill the engine a block from the house and coast into garage. Then I open the door slowly. Next I take off my shoes and tiptoe into our room. But just as I'm about to slide into bed, she always wakes up and gives me a hell." 
  "你肯定不能相信因为怕吵醒妻子，我采取了什么办法。"他说，"首先，在离家还有一个街区的时候，我就把发动机熄了火，靠惯性将车开进车库。然后我慢慢地打开房门，紧接着我脱掉鞋子，轻手轻脚地走进卧室。可就在我要溜进被窝时，她总会醒来，把我骂个狗血淋头。"

  "I make a big racket when I go home," his friend said. 
  "我回家时该吵就吵，该闹就闹。"他的朋友说。
  
  "You do?" "是吗？"

  "Sure. I honk the hone, slam the door, turn on all the lights, stomp up the bedroom and give my wife a big kiss, 'Hi, Alice,' I say, 'How about a little smooch for your old man?'"
  "当然啦。我把喇叭按得嘟嘟响，把门关得砰砰响，把灯全部打开，咚咚地走进卧室，再重重地吻妻子一下。'喂，爱丽丝，'我说，'亲亲你老公，怎么样？'"

  "And what does she say?" his friend asked him in disbelief. 
  "她怎么说？"他的朋友不相信地问道。

  "She doesn't say anything," his buddy replied. "She always pretends she's asleep."
  "她什么也不说，"他的伙伴说："她总是假装睡着了。" 