  Man And Woman 女人和男人
  
  At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man." 
  在鸡尾酒会上,一个女人对另一个女人说,"你的结婚戒指是不是戴错了手指?"那女人回答说,"是的,我戴错了手指,因为我嫁错了男人." 

  After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice." 
  争吵过后,妻子对丈夫说,"你知道,我是个笨蛋才会嫁给你."丈夫回答,"是的,亲爱的,但当时我在热恋中没有注意."

  When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
  当一个男人偷了你的妻子,最好的报仇方法就是让他拥有她.

  I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.
  我有18个月没有同妻子说话了－我不想打断她. 
  
  My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two girlfriends. 
  女朋友说我应该更深情些,于是我找了两个女朋友. 

  A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did. 
  一人男子说他的信用卡被盗,但他决定不去报告.因为小偷花的钱比他妻子花的钱还少.

  Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful. 
  女人永远不能与男人平等,除非她能够凸着头,腆着啤酒肚在大街上行走,并仍然认为自己很漂亮.