return {
  ACTIONFAIL =
  {
    SHAVE =
    {
      AWAKEBEEFALO = "I'm not going to try that while he's awake.",
      GENERIC = "I can't shave that!",
      NOBITS = "There isn't even any stubble left!",
    },
    STORE =
    {
      GENERIC = "It's full.",
      NOTALLOWED = "That can't go in there.",
      INUSE = "I should wait my turn.",
    },
    RUMMAGE =
    { 
      GENERIC = "I messed up..",
      INUSE = "I should wait my turn.", 
    },
        COOK =
        {
            GENERIC = "I can't do that.",
            INUSE = "I should wait my turn.",
        },
        GIVETOPLAYER = 
        {
          FULL = "Their pockets are too full!",
      },
      GIVEALLTOPLAYER = 
        {
          FULL = "Their pockets are too full!",
      },
  },
  ACTIONFAIL_GENERIC = "I can't do that.",
  ANNOUNCE_ADVENTUREFAIL = "I guess I died again.",
  ANNOUNCE_BEES = "Ah, bugger off!",
  ANNOUNCE_BOOMERANG = "Ow! I should try to catch that!",
  ANNOUNCE_CHARLIE = "Wait... why can't I see?",
  ANNOUNCE_CHARLIE_ATTACK = "Ahh!",
  ANNOUNCE_COLD = "My fingers have almost frozen solid.",
  ANNOUNCE_HOT = "My blood is coagulating inside me",
  ANNOUNCE_CRAFTING_FAIL = "I don't have the resources required.",
  ANNOUNCE_DEERCLOPS = "Whatever makes that sound must be huge!",
  ANNOUNCE_DUSK = "It's getting late. It will be dark soon.",
  ANNOUNCE_EAT =
  {
    GENERIC = "Ah... nice.",
    PAINFUL = "This aftertaste is terrible!",
    SPOILED = "That was more wet mold than blood...",
    STALE = "That was a bit dry.",
    INVALID = "I can't eat that!",
    YUCKY = "No way!",
  },
  ANNOUNCE_ENTER_DARK = "It's so dark!",
  ANNOUNCE_ENTER_LIGHT = "I can see again!",
  ANNOUNCE_FREEDOM = "I'm free! I'm finally free!",
  ANNOUNCE_HIGHRESEARCH = "I feel so smart now!",
  ANNOUNCE_HOUNDS = "Hellhounds, I hear Hellhounds.",
  ANNOUNCE_HUNGRY = "Oh hell... I'm so hungry.",
  ANNOUNCE_HUNT_BEAST_NEARBY = "The scent of the beast is all over. It must be near!",
  ANNOUNCE_HUNT_LOST_TRAIL = "I've lost track of it.",
  ANNOUNCE_HUNT_LOST_TRAIL_SPRING = "The wet ground won't hold a footprint.",
  ANNOUNCE_INV_FULL = "I can't fit it anywhere.",
  ANNOUNCE_KNOCKEDOUT = "Oww...",
  ANNOUNCE_LOWRESEARCH = "I didn't learn very much from that.",
  ANNOUNCE_MOSQUITOS = "Aaah! Bug off!",
  ANNOUNCE_NODANGERSLEEP = "Hell no! I dare not sleep with monsters nearby.",
  ANNOUNCE_NODAYSLEEP = "It's too bright out.",
  ANNOUNCE_NODAYSLEEP_CAVE = "I'm not tired.",
  ANNOUNCE_NOHUNGERSLEEP = "I'm starved, if I sleep now I might not be able to wake up on my own.",
  ANNOUNCE_NOSLEEPONFIRE = "Sleeping in that seems like a bad idea.",
  ANNOUNCE_NODANGERSIESTA = "I wish I could, but I don't have a coffin to protect from the sun.",
  ANNOUNCE_NONIGHTSIESTA = "Night is for sleeping, not taking siestas.",
  ANNOUNCE_NONIGHTSIESTA_CAVE = "I don't think I could really relax down here.",
  ANNOUNCE_NOHUNGERSIESTA = "I'm too hungry for a siesta!",
  ANNOUNCE_NODANGERAFK = "Now's not the time to flee this fight!",
  ANNOUNCE_NO_TRAP = "Success!",
  ANNOUNCE_PECKED = "Ow! Please stop that!",
  ANNOUNCE_QUAKE = "I learned something.",
  ANNOUNCE_RESEARCH = "Never stop learning!",
  ANNOUNCE_SHELTER = "Thanks for the protection from the elements, tree!",
  ANNOUNCE_THORNS = "Bloody hell! Hurts more than you'd think.",
  ANNOUNCE_BURNT = "Yikes! That was hot!",
  ANNOUNCE_TORCH_OUT = "The torch ran out",
  ANNOUNCE_TRAP_WENT_OFF = "Jiikes!",
  ANNOUNCE_UNIMPLEMENTED = "OW! I don't think it's ready yet.",
  ANNOUNCE_WORMHOLE = "I'm glad it thinks I'm inedible",
  ANNOUNCE_CANFIX = "\nI think I can fix this!",
  ANNOUNCE_ACCOMPLISHMENT = "I feel so accomplished!",
  ANNOUNCE_ACCOMPLISHMENT_DONE = "If only my friends could see me now...",  
  ANNOUNCE_INSUFFICIENTFERTILIZER = "Are you still hungry, plant?",
  ANNOUNCE_TOOL_SLIP = "Wow that tool is slippery!",
  ANNOUNCE_LIGHTNING_DAMAGE_AVOIDED = "Safe from that frightening lightning!",

  ANNOUNCE_DAMP = "Oh, H2O.",
  ANNOUNCE_WET = "My clothes appear to be permeable.",
  ANNOUNCE_WETTER = "Water way to go!",
  ANNOUNCE_SOAKED = "I've nearly reached my saturation point.",
  
  ANNOUNCE_BECOMEGHOST = "ooOOoooOOOoOooo!!",
  ANNOUNCE_GHOSTDRAIN = "My humanity is about to start slipping away...",

  DESCRIBE_SAMECHARACTER = "Is that a mirror?",
  
  BATTLECRY =
  {
    GENERIC = "Die!",
    PIG = "I'm sorry about this!",
    PREY = "Come back here so I can eat you!!",
    SPIDER = "I'm not scared of you!",
    SPIDER_WARRIOR = "Go die you bastard!",
    HOUND = "Die you bloody pig!",
    LEIF = "I can't believe I'm fighting this!",
    MERM = "Go die you bastard!",
    TENTACLE = "Die you pervert!",
    RABBIT = "Come back here so I can eat you!!"
  },
  COMBAT_QUIT =
  {
    GENERIC = "Live and let live?",
    PIG = "I can't do this.",
    PREY = "I can't keep up.",
    SPIDER = "It's too scary anyway.",
    SPIDER_WARRIOR = "I'm glad I got away from it.",
    LEIF = "Let's not try that again!.",
  },
  DESCRIBE =
  {
    PLAYER =
    {
        GENERIC = "It's %s!",
        ATTACKER = "%s has dangerous eyes",
        MURDERER = "Murderer!",
        REVIVER = "%s the Necromancer",
        GHOST = "%s spirit refuses to pass on.",
    },
    WILSON = 
    {
      GENERIC = "It's Wilson!",
      ATTACKER = "That Wilson looks shifty...",
      MURDERER = "Murderer!",
      REVIVER = "Wilson, friend of ghosts.",
      GHOST = "Wilson could use a heart.",
    },
    WOLFGANG = 
    {
      GENERIC = "It's Wolfgang!",
      ATTACKER = "That Wolfgang looks shifty...",
      MURDERER = "Murderer!",
      REVIVER = "Wolfgang, friend of ghosts.",
      GHOST = "Wolfgang could use a heart.",
    },
    WAXWELL = 
    {
      GENERIC = "It's Maxwell!",
      ATTACKER = "That Maxwell looks shifty...",
      MURDERER = "Murderer!",
      REVIVER = "Maxwell, friend of ghosts.",
      GHOST = "Maxwell could use a heart.",
    },
    WX78 = 
    {
      GENERIC = "It's WX-78!",
      ATTACKER = "That WX-78 looks shifty...",
      MURDERER = "Murderer!",
      REVIVER = "WX-78, friend of ghosts.",
      GHOST = "WX-78 could use a heart.",
    },
    WILLOW = 
    {
      GENERIC = "It's Willow!",
      ATTACKER = "That Willow looks shifty...",
      MURDERER = "Murderer!",
      REVIVER = "Willow, friend of ghosts.",
      GHOST = "Willow could use a heart.",
    },
    WENDY = 
    {
      GENERIC = "It's Wendy!",
      ATTACKER = "That Wendy looks shifty...",
      MURDERER = "Murderer!",
      REVIVER = "Wendy, friend of ghosts.",
      GHOST = "Wendy could use a heart.",
    },
    WOODIE = 
    {
      GENERIC = "It's Woodie!",
      ATTACKER = "That Woodie looks shifty...",
      MURDERER = "Murderer!",
      REVIVER = "Woodie, friend of ghosts.",
      GHOST = "Woodie could use a heart.",
    },
    WICKERBOTTOM = 
    {
      GENERIC = "It's Wickerbottom!",
      ATTACKER = "That Wickerbottom looks shifty...",
      MURDERER = "Murderer!",
      REVIVER = "Wickerbottom, friend of ghosts.",
      GHOST = "Wickerbottom could use a heart.",
    },
    WES = 
    {
      GENERIC = "It's Wes!",
      ATTACKER = "That Wes looks shifty...",
      MURDERER = "Murderer!",
      REVIVER = "Wes, friend of ghosts.",
      GHOST = "Wes could use a heart.",
    },
    MULTIPLAYER_PORTAL = "It's rickety, but it appears to function. After a fashion...",
    GLOMMER = "It's cute, in a gross kind of way.",
    GLOMMERFLOWER = 
    {
      GENERIC = "The petals shimmer in the light.",
      DEAD = "The petals droop and shimmer in the light.",
    },
    GLOMMERWINGS = "These would look awesome on a helmet!",
    GLOMMERFUEL = "This goop smells foul.",
    BELL = "Dingalingaling.",
    STATUEGLOMMER = 
    { 
      GENERIC = "I'm not sure what that's supposed to be.",
      EMPTY = "I broke it. For science.",
    },

    WEBBERSKULL = "Poor little guy. He deserves a proper funeral.",
    WORMLIGHT = "Looks delicious.",
    WORM =
    {
        PLANT = "Seems safe to me.",
        DIRT = "Just looks like a pile of dirt.",
        WORM = "It's a worm!",
    },
    MOLE =
    {
      HELD = "Nowhere left to dig, my friend.",
      UNDERGROUND = "Something's under there, searching for minerals.",
      ABOVEGROUND = "I'd sure like to whack that mole... thing.",
    },
    BLOODSWORD = "Made from the evil forces of my curse.",
    SMALLBLOOD = "I drained the life out of some critters to create this...",
    LARGEBLOOD = "It's basically a sausage full of scrumptious blood.",
    HUMANBLOOD = "It is delicious.",
    MONSTERBLOOD = "This blood is foul...",
    PLANTBLOOD = "I really don't think I should drink this.",
    
    MOLEHILL = "What a nice hole in the ground for a home!",
    MOLEHAT = "A wretched stench but excellent visibility.",

    EEL = "This will make a delicious meal.",
    EEL_COOKED = "Smells great!",
    UNAGI = "I cooked it myself!",
    EYETURRET = "I hope it doesn't turn on me.",
    EYETURRET_ITEM = "I think it's sleeping.",
    MINOTAURHORN = "Wow! I'm glad that didn't gore me!",
    MINOTAURCHEST = "It may contain a bigger something fantastic! Or horrible.",
    THULECITE_PIECES = "It's some smaller chunks of Thulecite.",
    POND_ALGAE = "Some algae by a pond.",
    GREENSTAFF = "This will come in handy.",
    POTTEDFERN = "A fern in a pot.",

    THULECITE = "I wonder where this is from?",
    ARMORRUINS = "It's oddly light.",
    RUINS_BAT = "It has quite a heft to it.",
    RUINSHAT = "Fit for a king. Or me.",
    NIGHTMARE_TIMEPIECE =
    {
    CALM = "All is well.",
    WARN = "Getting pretty magical around here.",
    WAXING = "I think it's becoming more concentrated!",
    STEADY = "It seems to be staying steady.",
    WANING = "Feels like it's receding.",
    DAWN = "The nightmare is almost gone!",
    NOMAGIC = "There's no magic around here.",
    },
    BISHOP_NIGHTMARE = "It's falling apart!",
    ROOK_NIGHTMARE = "Terrifying!",
    KNIGHT_NIGHTMARE = "It's a knightmare!",
    MINOTAUR = "That thing doesn't look happy.",
    SPIDER_DROPPER = "Note to self: Don't look up.",
    NIGHTMARELIGHT = "I wonder what function this served.",
    NIGHTSTICK = "It's electric!",
    GREENGEM = "It's green and gemmy.",
    RELIC = "Ancient household goods.",
    RUINS_RUBBLE = "This can be fixed.",
    MULTITOOL_AXE_PICKAXE = "It's brilliant!",
    ORANGESTAFF = "This beats walking.",
    YELLOWAMULET = "Warm to the touch.",
    GREENAMULET = "Just when I thought I couldn't get any better.",
    SLURPERPELT = "Doesn't look much different dead.",  

    SLURPER = "It's so hairy!",
    SLURPER_PELT = "Doesn't look much different dead.",
    ARMORSLURPER = "A soggy, sustaining, succulent suit.",
    ORANGEAMULET = "Teleportation can be so useful.",
    YELLOWSTAFF = "I put a gem on a stick.",
    YELLOWGEM = "This gem is yellow.",
    ORANGEGEM = "It's an orange gem.",
    TELEBASE = 
    {
      VALID = "It's ready to go.",
      GEMS = "It needs more purple gems.",
    },
    GEMSOCKET = 
    {
      VALID = "Looks ready.",
      GEMS = "It needs a gem.",
    },
    STAFFLIGHT = "That seems really dangerous.",
  
        ANCIENT_ALTAR = "An ancient and mysterious structure.",

        ANCIENT_ALTAR_BROKEN = "This seems to be broken.",

        ANCIENT_STATUE = "It seems to throb out of tune with the world.",

        LICHEN = "Only a cyanobacteria could grow in this light.",
    CUTLICHEN = "Nutritious, but it won't last long.",

    CAVE_BANANA = "It's mushy.",
    CAVE_BANANA_COOKED = "Yum!",
    CAVE_BANANA_TREE = "It's dubiously photosynthetical.",
    ROCKY = "It has terrifying claws.",
    
    COMPASS =
    {
      GENERIC="I can't get a reading.",
      N = "North",
      S = "South",
      E = "East",
      W = "West",
      NE = "Northeast",
      SE = "Southeast",
      NW = "Northwest",
      SW = "Southwest",
    },

    NIGHTMARE_TIMEPIECE =
    {
      WAXING = "I think it's becoming more concentrated!",
      STEADY = "It seems to be staying steady.",
      WANING = "Feels like it's receding.",
      DAWN = "The nightmare is almost gone!",
      WARN = "Getting pretty magical around here.",
      CALM = "All is well.",
      NOMAGIC = "There's no magic around here.",
    },

    HOUNDSTOOTH = "It's pretty sharp.",
    ARMORSNURTLESHELL = "I hope no one sees me with this",
    BAT = "Ack! Vampiric freaks!",
    BATBAT = "Seems appropriate",
    BATWING = "These things contain some sort of vampirism",
    BATWING_COOKED = "Not sure if this is safe to eat...",
    BEDROLL_FURRY = "This cute bedroll doesn't betray the genocide involved in its creation",
    BUNNYMAN = "It's kinda cute.",
    FLOWER_CAVE = "It shouldn't be able to glow this bright.",
    FLOWER_CAVE_DOUBLE = "It shouldn't be able to glow this bright.",
    FLOWER_CAVE_TRIPLE = "It shouldn't be able to glow this bright.",
    GUANO = "It smells terrible!",
    LANTERN = "It's a lantern.",
    LIGHTBULB = "I can't believe it still glows this bright!",
    MANRABBIT_TAIL = "So soft...",
    MUSHTREE_TALL = "I feel like Alice in Wonderland.",
    MUSHTREE_MEDIUM = "Is this really a mushroom?",
    MUSHTREE_SMALL = "It glows pretty brightly.",
    RABBITHOUSE=
    {
      GENERIC = "The house is really cute!",
      BURNT = "That house was really cute.",
    },
    SLURTLE = "Ew, gross!",
    SLURTLE_SHELLPIECES = "Why would I want this?",
    SLURTLEHAT = "It looks like a soldier's helmet.",
    SLURTLEHOLE = "I don't want go near it.",
    SLURTLESLIME = "Gross, but useful.",
    SNURTLE = "Only slightly less slimy.",
    SPIDER_HIDER = "It looks really freaky!",
    SPIDER_SPITTER = "It really, really scares me",
    SPIDERHOLE = "A den of evil.",
    STALAGMITE = "It's an, uh, rock.",
    STALAGMITE_FULL = "Underground rock.",
    STALAGMITE_LOW = "Underground rock.",
    STALAGMITE_MED = "Underground rock.",
    STALAGMITE_TALL = "It's an, uh, rock.",
    STALAGMITE_TALL_FULL = "It's an, uh, rock.",
    STALAGMITE_TALL_LOW = "It's an, uh, rock.",
    STALAGMITE_TALL_MED = "It's an, uh, rock.",

    TURF_CARPETFLOOR = "Yet another ground type.",
    TURF_CHECKERFLOOR = "Yet another ground type.",
    TURF_DIRT = "Yet another ground type.",
    TURF_FOREST = "Yet another ground type.",
    TURF_GRASS = "Yet another ground type.",
    TURF_MARSH = "Yet another ground type.",
    TURF_ROAD = "Yet another ground type.",
    TURF_ROCKY = "Yet another ground type.",
    TURF_SAVANNA = "Yet another ground type.",
    TURF_WOODFLOOR = "Yet another ground type.",

    TURF_CAVE="Yet another ground type.",
    TURF_FUNGUS="Yet another ground type.",
    TURF_SINKHOLE="Yet another ground type.",
    TURF_UNDERROCK="Yet another ground type.",
    TURF_MUD="Yet another ground type.",

    TURF_DECIDUOUS = "Yet another ground type.",
    TURF_SANDY = "Yet another ground type.",
    TURF_BADLANDS = "Yet another ground type.",

    POWCAKE = "I don't know if I'm hungry enough.",
        CAVE_ENTRANCE = 
        {
          GENERIC = "I wonder if I could lift it?",
          OPEN = "I'm slightly scared to go down there.",
        },
        CAVE_EXIT = "I've had enough discovery for now.",
    CAVE_EXIT = "Let's call it a day.",
    MAXWELLPHONOGRAPH = "I kinda like the tune.",
    BOOMERANG = "Surprisingly it always returns.",
    PIGGUARD = "I don't think he likes me.",
    ABIGAIL = "That ghost is kinda cute.",
    ADVENTURE_PORTAL = "I doubt it make things easier...",
    AMULET = "Maybe I could keep one for Intergra?",
    ANIMAL_TRACK = "Tracks left by an animal.",
    ARMORGRASS = "I think it looks cool.",
    ARMORMARBLE = "It's really awkward to wear.",
    ARMORWOOD = "Wood to protect from sharper pieces of wood.",
    ARMOR_SANITY = "It calls out to me",
    ASH =
    {
      GENERIC = "I guess I would turn into ash if I died...",
      REMAINS_GLOMMERFLOWER = "The flower was consumed by fire when I teleported!",
      REMAINS_EYE_BONE = "The eyebone turned to ashes when I teleported.",
      REMAINS_THINGIE = "This thing turned to ashes somehow.",
    },
    AXE = "It's also decent as an improvised weapon.",
    BABYBEEFALO = "Aww.",
    BACKPACK = "It's a backpack.",
    BACONEGGS = "The staple of a British breakfast.",
    BANDAGE = "I've studied a bit of medicine, this should work.",
    BASALT = "Some strange power protects it.",
    BATBAT = "I bet I could fly if I held two of these.",
    BEARDHAIR = "There is something strange about it.",
    BEARGER = "What a bear of a badger.",
    BEARGERVEST = "Welcome to hibernation station!",
    ICEPACK = "The fur keeps the temperature inside stable.",
    BEARGER_FUR = "A mat of thick fur.",
    BEDROLL_STRAW = "It's not very durable.",
    BEE =
    {
      GENERIC = "It's a huge bee with many eyes",
      HELD = "I think it likes me.",
    },
    BEEBOX =
    {
      READY = "It's full of honey.",
      FULLHONEY = "It's full of honey.",
      GENERIC = "Artificial bee city.",
      NOHONEY = "It's empty.",
      SOMEHONEY = "I should wait a bit.",
      BURNT = "Damn.",
    },
    BEEFALO =
    {
      FOLLOWER = "He's coming along peacefully.",
      GENERIC = "It kinda looks like some sort of ox.",
      NAKED = "I feel a bit sorry for him",
      SLEEPING = "They are really heavy sleepers.",
    },
    BEEFALOHAT = "Not very good-looking.",
    BEEFALOWOOL = "I could make some warm clothes with this.",
    BEEHAT = "Safety from those bloody bees.",
    BEEHIVE = "It's a little city of bees.",
    BEEMINE = "It's like a homing claymore mine.",
    BEEMINE_MAXWELL = "Bottled monster mosquitos!",
    BERRIES = "Vampires don't eat berries",
    BERRIES_COOKED = "It's almost jam.",
    BERRYBUSH =
    {
      WITHERED = "Nothing will grow in this heat.",
      BARREN = "It needs to be fertilized",
      GENERIC = "I used to love berries",
      PICKED = "They'll grow back. Probably.",
    },
    BIGFOOT = "That is one biiig foot.",
    BIRDCAGE =
    {
      GENERIC = "I should put a bird in it.",
      OCCUPIED = "Hello birdy!",
      SLEEPING = "Awwww, she's asleep.",
    },
    
    
    BIRDTRAP = "I can use this to catch birds!",
    BIRD_EGG = "It's a bird egg.",
    BIRD_EGG_COOKED = "Doesn't taste right!",
    BISHOP = "A false mechanical priest.",
    BLOWDART_FIRE = "Incendiary darts.",
    BLOWDART_SLEEP = "This contains enough tranquilizer to take out a raging bull.",
    BLOWDART_PIPE = "Well, it's no sniper rifle.",
    BLUEAMULET = "Looks expensive.",
    BLUEGEM = "It is unnaturally cold.",
    BLUEPRINT = "It's some sort of blueprint.",
    BELL_BLUEPRINT = "It's scientific!",
    BLUE_CAP = "Cannot, and should not eat this.",
    BLUE_CAP_COOKED = "Wouldn't eat it even if I was human.",
    BLUE_MUSHROOM =
    {
      GENERIC = "Could it be used to poison someone?",
      INGROUND = "It has borrowed underground",
      PICKED = "I think I can still see something down there.",
    },
    BOARDS = "Planks... no, wait, it's boards.",
    BOAT = "Is that how I got here?",
    BONESHARD = "Bits of bone.",
    BONESTEW = "I cooked it myself!",
    BUGNET = "I can catch bugs with this.",
    BUSHHAT = "I could probably hide forever with this.",
    BUTTER = "There is no way this could be butter!",
    BUTTERFLY =
    {
      GENERIC = "It's a butterfly.",
      HELD = "It's seems to like me somehow",
    },
    BUTTERFLYMUFFIN = "I cooked it myself!",
    BUTTERFLYWINGS = "I used to collect these when I was a kid.",
    BUZZARD = "What a bizarre buzzard!",
    CACTUS = 
    {
      GENERIC = "Sharp but delicious.",
      PICKED = "Deflated, but still spiny.",
    },
    CACTUS_MEAT_COOKED = "Grilled fruit of the desert.",
    CACTUS_MEAT = "There are still some spines between me and a tasty meal.",
    CACTUS_FLOWER = "A pretty flower from a prickly plant.",

    COLDFIRE =
    {
      EMBERS = "I should put something on the fire before it goes out.",
      GENERIC = "Sure beats darkness.",
      HIGH = "That fire is getting out of hand!",
      LOW = "The fire's getting a bit low.",
      NORMAL = "Nice and comfy.",
      OUT = "Well, that's over.",
    },
    CAMPFIRE =
    {
      EMBERS = "I should put something on the fire before it goes out.",
      GENERIC = "It's a campfire.",
      HIGH = "I have to be careful not to get burned!",
      LOW = "The fire's getting a bit low.",
      NORMAL = "Warm and comfy.",
      OUT = "It ran out of fuel.",
    },
    CANE = "I think there is something magic about it!",
    CATCOON = "A playful little thing.",
    CATCOONDEN = 
    {
      GENERIC = "It's a den in a stump.",
      EMPTY = "It's owner ran out of lives.",
    },
    CATCOONHAT = "Ears hat!",
    COONTAIL = "I think it's still swishing.",
    CARROT = "I'm a vampire, I can't eat carrots.",
    CARROT_COOKED = "I can't eat this.",
    CARROT_PLANTED = "Rabbits love these.",
    CARROT_SEEDS = "It's a seed.",
    WATERMELON_SEEDS = "It's a seed.",
    CAVE_FERN = "It's a fern.",
    CHARCOAL = "It's small, dark and smells like burnt wood.",
    CHESSJUNK1 = "A pile of broken chess pieces.",
    CHESSJUNK2 = "Another pile of broken chess pieces.",
    CHESSJUNK3 = "Even more broken chess pieces.",
    CHESTER = "It's really cute in a freaky sort way.",
    CHESTER_EYEBONE =
    {
      GENERIC = "Creepy. It's looking right at me.",
      WAITING = "Is it dead?.",
    },
    COOKEDMANDRAKE = "I'm so sorry. I don't know why I did that. I can't even eat you.",
    COOKEDMEAT = "A bit dry...",
    COOKEDMONSTERMEAT = "Might make for a good shoe sole",
    COOKEDSMALLMEAT = "A bit dry...!",
    COOKPOT =
    {
      COOKING_LONG = "This is going to take a while.",
      COOKING_SHORT = "It's almost done!",
      DONE = "It's done",
      EMPTY = "Less useful for a vampire than a human.",
      BURNT = "Didn't' expect this to be flamable.",
    },
    CORN = "I'm still a vampire, sorry.",
    CORN_COOKED = "I'm still a vampire, sorry.",
    CORN_SEEDS = "It's a seed.",
    CROW =
    {
      GENERIC = "I can't shake the feeling that it is watching me.",
      HELD = "It's just quietly staring at me. It's... freaky!.",
    },
    CUTGRASS = "Cut grass, ready for arts and crafts.",
    CUTREEDS = "Cut reeds, ready for crafting and hobbying.",
    CUTSTONE = "I've made them seductively smooth.",
    DEADLYFEAST = "A most potent dish.",
    DEERCLOPS = "Oh god no...",
    DEERCLOPS_EYEBALL = "I'm somehow tempted to eat it...",
    EYEBRELLAHAT =  "It will watch over me.",
    DEPLETED_GRASS =
    {
      GENERIC = "It's probably a tuft of grass.",
    },
    DEVTOOL = "It smells like blood and damnation!",
    DEVTOOL_NODEV = "I'm not strong enough to wield it.",
    DIRTPILE = "It's a pile of dirt... or IS it?",
    DIVININGROD =
    {
      COLD = "The signal is very faint.",
      GENERIC = "It's some kind of homing device.",
      HOT = "This thing's going crazy!",
      WARM = "I'm headed in the right direction.",
      WARMER = "I must be getting pretty close.",
    },
    DIVININGRODBASE =
    {
      GENERIC = "I wonder what it does.",
      READY = "It looks like it needs a large key.",
      UNLOCKED = "Now my machine can work!",
    },
    DIVININGRODSTART = "That rod looks useful!",
    DRAGONFLY = "That is one huge ugly bug!",
    ARMORDRAGONFLY = "FIRE! IT SPITS FIRE!",
    DRAGON_SCALES = "They're still warm.",
    DRAGONFLYCHEST = "Next best thing to a lockbox!",
    LAVASPIT = 
    {
      HOT = "Napalm.",
      COOL = "Uh...",
    },
    DRAGONFRUIT = "I wonder why it's called dragonfruit?",
    DRAGONFRUIT_COOKED = "No dragon blood in this one. I can't eat it.",
    DRAGONFRUIT_SEEDS = "It's a seed.",
    DRAGONPIE = "I cooked it myself!",
    DRUMSTICK = "I should gobble it.",
    DRUMSTICK_COOKED = "Now it's even tastier.",
    DUG_BERRYBUSH = "I should plant this.",
    DUG_GRASS = "I should plant this.",
    DUG_MARSH_BUSH = "I should plant this.",
    DUG_SAPLING = "I should plant this.",
    DURIAN = "I'm glad I don't even have a reason to try to eat it.",
    DURIAN_COOKED = "Bloody hell! It smells even worse!",
    DURIAN_SEEDS = "It's a seed.",
    EARMUFFSHAT = "At least my ears won't freeze and fall off",
    EGGPLANT = "I've never tried eggplant, and I never will.",
    EGGPLANT_COOKED = "I'd love to try it, but I'm a vampire so I really can't.",
    EGGPLANT_SEEDS = "It's a seed.",
    DECIDUOUSTREE = 
    {
      BURNING = "I should keep my distance.",
      BURNT = "Nothing but ash and charcoal.",
      CHOPPED = "I bet the trees will avenge that!",
      POISON = "Why does everything try to kill me?!",
      GENERIC = "There is something spoky about these trees.",
    },
    ACORN = 
    {
        GENERIC = "There's definitely something inside there.",
        PLANTED = "It'll be a tree soon!",
    },
    ACORN_COOKED = "Roasted to perfection.",
    BIRCHNUTDRAKE = "What is wrong with this world!?",
    EVERGREEN =
    {
      BURNING = "I have to be careful not to get too close.",
      BURNT = "That tree will not be slaying any vampires.",
      CHOPPED = "If it could, it would call for vengance.",
      GENERIC = "The bane of all vampires.",
    },
    EVERGREEN_SPARSE =
    {
      BURNING = "I have to be careful not to get too close.",
      BURNT = "What a waste.",
      CHOPPED = "It died childless",
      GENERIC = "I think it might be sick.",
    },
    EYEPLANT = "I think I'm being watched.",
    FARMPLOT =
    {
      GENERIC = "I should try planting some crops.",
      GROWING = "I need to give them more time.",
      NEEDSFERTILIZER = "I think it needs to be fertilized.",
      BURNT = "I don't think anything will grow in a pile of ash.",
    },
    FEATHERHAT = "Looks like a Native American headdress",
    FEATHER_CROW = "Crows are circling above me.",
    FEATHER_ROBIN = "A red feather was made redder by blood.",
    FEATHER_ROBIN_WINTER = "A snow white feather from a snow white bird.",
    FEM_PUPPET = "She's trapped!",
    FIREFLIES =
    {
      GENERIC = "They’re so pretty!",
      HELD = "They seem strangely pacified.",
    },
    FIREHOUND = "That one is glowy.",
    FIREPIT =
    {
      EMBERS = "It's nearly run out.",
      GENERIC = "It's pretty warm.",
      HIGH = "This seems dangerous.",
      LOW = "The fire's getting a little low.",
      NORMAL = "Nice and comfy.",
      OUT = "It's a firepit",
    },
    COLDFIREPIT =
    {
      EMBERS = "I should put something on the fire before it goes out.",
      GENERIC = "Sure beats darkness.",
      HIGH = "Good thing it's contained!",
      LOW = "The fire's getting a bit low.",
      NORMAL = "Nice and comfy.",
      OUT = "At least I can start it up again.",
    },
    FIRESTAFF = "I don't want to set the world on fire.",
    FIRESUPPRESSOR = 
    { 
      ON = "Fling on!",
      OFF = "All quiet on the flinging front.",
      LOWFUEL = "The fuel tank is getting a bit low.",
    },

    FISH = "its food I guess...",
    FISHINGROD = "Hook, line and stick!",
    FISHSTICKS = "I cooked it myself!",
    FISHTACOS = "I cooked it myself!",
    FISH_COOKED = "I'm sure someone else would love this.",
    FLINT = "I could make this pretty sharp I think.",
    LOWER = "They smell really nice.",
    FLOWERHAT = "Alucard would laugh at me.",
    FLOWER_EVIL = "They emanate horribleness!",
    FOLIAGE = "Some leafy greens.",
    FOOTBALLHAT = "I'm sorry piggy.",
    FROG =
    {
      DEAD = "This prince had no luck.",
      GENERIC = "I doubt this one is a cursed prince",
      SLEEPING = "He is not quite so cute when he is awake",
    },
    FROGGLEBUNWICH = "I cooked it myself!",
    FROGLEGS = "The French love these.",
    FROGLEGS_COOKED = "I don't know if I cooked them right.",
    FRUITMEDLEY = "I cooked it myself!",
    FURTUFT = "Black and white fur.", 
    GEARS = "Gears, axels, and uh...stuff.",
    GHOST = "It's even deader than me!",
    GOLDENAXE = "I like the color, but will this really work?",
    GOLDENPICKAXE = "Somehow. Somehow this works.",
    GOLDENPITCHFORK = "Why do I need a golden pitchfork again?",
    GOLDENSHOVEL = "For the blue-blooded gravedigger.",
    GOLDNUGGET = "I wish I could buy a ticket home with this.",
    GRASS =
    {
      BARREN = "It needs poop.",
      WITHERED = "It's not going to grow back while it's so hot.",
      BURNING = "That's burning fast!",
      GENERIC = "It's a tuft of grass.",
      PICKED = "It was cut down in the prime of its life.",
    },
    GREEN_CAP = "Whatever should I use this for?",
    GREEN_CAP_COOKED = "Don't think I should eat it even if I was human",
    GREEN_MUSHROOM =
    {
      GENERIC = "It's a mushroom.",
      INGROUND = "It's sleeping.",
      PICKED = "I wonder if it will come back?",
    },
    GUNPOWDER = "One Harkonnen Cannon comming right up. Anyone know a gunsmith?",
    HAMBAT = "Oh great, just what I always wanted. To beat things up with other dead things...",
    HAMMER = "Stop Hammertime!",
    HEALINGSALVE = "I haven't studied much pharmacy, but this should work.",
    HEATROCK =
    {
      FROZEN = "It's colder than ice.",
      COLD = "That's a cold stone.",
      GENERIC = "It's better at keeping temperature than me.",
      HOT = "mmm... warm!",
      WARM = "It's warm to the touch!",
    },
    HOME = "Someone must live here.",
    HOMESIGN = 
    {
      GENERIC = "It is written: 'You are here'.",
      BURNT = "I can't read it any longer.",
    },
    HONEY = "A bit too sweet for my tastes.",
    HONEYCOMB = "Bees used to live in this.",
    HONEYHAM = "I cooked it myself!",
    HONEYNUGGETS = "I cooked it myself!",
    HORN = "It makes a fairly impressive sound.",
    HOUND = "It's a hellhound!",
    HOUNDBONE = "Creepy.",
    HOUNDMOUND = "Do hellhounds live here?",
    ICEBOX = "Kind of like a primitive refrigerator!",
    ICEHAT = "Stay cool, boy.",
    ICEHOUND = "Hell has frozen over?",
    INSANITYROCK =
    {
      ACTIVE = "Darkness forced it down!",
      INACTIVE = "It's a big... obelisk? Is that what they are called?",
    },
    JAMMYPRESERVES = "I cooked it myself!",
    KABOBS = "I cooked it myself!",
    KILLERBEE =
    {
      GENERIC = "It seems to be in constant frenzy.",
      HELD = "It has calmed down somehow.",
    },
    KNIGHT = "Sir Integra is a knight, this is just a stupid rook!",
    KOALEFANT_SUMMER = "Adorable, and probably delicious.",
    KOALEFANT_WINTER = "Full of warm warm... blood.",
    KRAMPUS = "It's a thief! A demon thief!",
    KRAMPUS_SACK = "It's even bigger on the inside!",
    LEIF = "That... that is definitely every vampire's worst nightmare!",
    LEIF_SPARSE = "That... that is definitely every vampire's worst nightmare!",
    LIGHTNING_ROD =
    {
      HARGED = "I wish I could use the electricity for something",
      GENERIC = "I hope heaven doesn't hate my so much it will strike me anyway.",
    },
    LIGHTNINGGOAT = 
    {
      GENERIC = "Why does everything in this world want to kill me?",
      CHARGED = "It's not happy.",
    },
    LIGHTNINGGOATHORN = "It's like a miniature lightning rod.",
    GOATMILK = "Just mix it with a little blood and... no.",
    LITTLE_WALRUS = "I'll hunt you!",
    LIVINGLOG = "It looks really scared...",
    LOCKEDWES = "Maxwell's statues are trapping him.",
    LOG =
    {
      URNING = "It's on fire.",
      GENERIC = "I could carve a stake out of this.",
    },
    LUREPLANT = "It's evil, definitely evil.",
    LUREPLANTBULB = "Now I can start my very own evil plant-meat farm.",
    MALE_PUPPET = "He's trapped!",
    MANDRAKE =
    {
      DEAD = "Oh no, sorry, I'm so sorry!",
      GENERIC = "It's alive somehow.",
      PICKED = "It's cute but kind of loud.",
    },
    MANDRAKESOUP = "Smells like innocence boiled in tears.",
    MANDRAKE_COOKED = "It is like a barbecued little child.",
    MARBLE = "Pretty much white rock I guess?",
    MARBLEPILLAR = "It's a pillar made of marble.",
    MARBLETREE = "This isn't really a tree. Right?",
    MARSH_BUSH =
    {
      BURNING = "That's burning fast!",
      GENERIC = "It's covered in thorns.",
      PICKED = "Oww!",
    },
    BURNT_MARSH_BUSH = "It's all burnt up.",
    MARSH_PLANT = "It's a plant.",
    MARSH_TREE =
    {
      BURNING = "Spikes and fire!",
            BURNT = "Now it's burnt and spiky",
            CHOPPED = "A not so spiky tree stump!",
            GENERIC = "That's a really evil looking tree!",
    },
    MAXWELL = "I think he is the reason I'm stuck here.",
    MAXWELLHEAD = "I can see into his pores.",
    MAXWELLLIGHT = "It must be fueled by magic.",
    MAXWELLLOCK = "Looks almost like a key hole.",
    MAXWELLTHRONE = "I'd hate to be stuck there.",
    MEAT = "Blood oozes out of it when squeezed.",
    MEATBALLS = "I cooked it myself!",
    MEATRACK =
    {
      DONE = "It's done!",
      DRYING = "I need to give it time.",
      DRYINGINRAIN = "It is not going to dry up when it is being soaked.",
      GENERIC = "I should dry some meats.",
      BURNT = "The rack got dried.",
    },
    MEAT_DRIED = "All the blood has dried out.",
    MERM = "Evil creatures from the black lagoon!",
    MERMHEAD = 
    {
      MERMHEAD = "This thing looks evil even when dead.",
      BURNT = "Burnt merm flesh somehow smells even worse.",
    },
    MERMHOUSE = 
    {
      MERMHOUSE = "Why would anyone live here?",
      BURNT = "Nothing to live in, now.",
    },
    MINERHAT = "I'm a creature of the night. I don't need this.",
    MONKEY = "I'll drain you dry, you thieving bastard!",
    MONKEYBARREL = "Did that just move?",
    MONSTERLASAGNA = "I could probably kill someone with this.",
    FLOWERSALAD = "A bowl of foliage.",
        ICECREAM = "I scream for ice cream!",
        WATERMELONICLE = "Cryogenic watermlon.",
        TRAILMIX = "A healthy, natural snack, and to me, inedible.",
        HOTCHILI = "Five alarm!",
        GUACAMOLE = "Avogadro's favorite dish.",
    MONSTERMEAT = "Foul purple blood oozes from it.",
    MONSTERMEAT_DRIED = "Evil monster jerky.",
    MOOSE = "I don't exactly know what that thing is.",
    MOOSEEGG = "Its contents are like excited electrons trying to escape.",
    MOSSLING = "Aaah! You are definitely not an electron!",
    FEATHERFAN = "Down to bring my temperature down.",
    GOOSE_FEATHER = "Fluffy!",
    STAFF_TORNADO = "Spinning doom.",
    MOSQUITO =
    {
      GENERIC = "Disgusting little wannabe vampire.",
      HELD = "Don't even try to drink my blood!",
    },
    MOSQUITOSACK = "Great. Pass-me-down stolen blood.",
    MOUND =
    {
      DUG = "I should probably feel bad about that.",
      GENERIC = "Someone's grave. I should probably leave it alone.",
    },
    NIGHTLIGHT = "It gives off a spooky light.",
    NIGHTMAREFUEL = "Alucard's expectations of me.",
    NIGHTSWORD = "It awakes my darkest power.",
    NITRE = "I could make explosives with this.",
    ONEMANBAND = "It looks... depressing somehow.",
    PANDORASCHEST = "It may contain something horrible.",
    PANFLUTE = "I'll play the song of the dead.",
    PAPYRUS = "I've mostly used them for writing reports.",
    PENGUIN = "It's a penguin.",
    PERD = "It's eating all the berries!",
    PEROGIES = "I cooked it myself!",
    PETALS = "I feel kind of childish picking flowers.",
    PETALS_EVIL = "They still have a bit of... nightmare in them.",
    PHLEGM = "It's thick and pliable. And salty.",
    PICKAXE = "Makes breaking rocks significantly easier",
    PIGGYBACK = "I feel really bad for that.",
    PIGHEAD = 
    { 
      PIGHEAD = "It's the closest thing this world has to human sacrifice.",
      BURNT = "Crispy.",
    },
    PIGHOUSE =
    {
      FULL = "It is watching me.",
      GENERIC = "A strange but fancy house.",
      LIGHTSOUT = "I would have done the same if I saw me approaching!",
      BURNT = "I feel sorry for the piggies!",
    },
    PIGKING = "There is something abnormal about him. ...and he reeks!!",
    PIGMAN =
    {
      DEAD = "Someone should tell his family.",
      FOLLOWER = "I hope he'll be okay.",
      GENERIC = "I'm kind of tempted to eat him.",
      GUARD = "I don't think he likes me very much.",
      WEREPIG = "It's a pig-monster!",
    },
    PIGSKIN = "This is horrible.",
    PIGTENT = "Smells like... bacon.",
    PIGTORCH = "Looks cozy.",
    PINECONE = 
    {
        GENERIC = "I should replant this.",
        PLANTED = "It'll be a tree soon!",
    },
    PITCHFORK = "I wonder if the demons waiting for me in hell have these?",
    PLANTMEAT = "It's technically a plant... I think?",
    PLANTMEAT_COOKED = "I don't think I should try eating that",
    PLANT_NORMAL =
    {
      GENERIC = "It's growing.",
      GROWING = "Take your time. I've got eternity",
      READY = "It's ready to be harvested.",
      WITHERED = "The heat killed it.",
    },
    POMEGRANATE = "I wish I could eat this...",
    POMEGRANATE_COOKED = "I wish I wasn't a vampire...",
    POMEGRANATE_SEEDS = "It's a seed.",
    POND = "If I fall in I'm done for.",
    POOP = "Smelly but an useful fertilizer.",
    FERTILIZER = "Ew. Let's get rid of this quickly.",
    PUMPKIN = "I could carve a lantern out of this.",
    PUMPKINCOOKIE = "I cooked it myself!",
    PUMPKIN_COOKED = "Nope, still a blood-sucking vampire.",
    PUMPKIN_LANTERN = "I did a good job on that!",
    PUMPKIN_SEEDS = "It's a seed.",
    PURPLEAMULET = "It is calling out to me.",
    PURPLEGEM = "It wispers of murder.",
    RABBIT =
    {
      GENERIC = "It's a cute little rabbit.",
      HELD = "I feel an overpowering urge to eat her.",
    },
    RABBITHOLE = 
    {
      RABBITHOLE = "I injured my foot due to one of these once.",
      SPRING = "No bunny blood available this season.",
    },
    RAINOMETER = 
    { 
      GENERIC = "It measures cloudiness.",
      BURNT = "The measuring parts went up in a cloud of smoke.",
    },
    RAINCOAT = "Keeps the rain where it ought to be. Outside my body.",
    RAINHAT = "It'll mess up my hair, but I'll stay nice and dry.",
    RATATOUILLE = "I cooked it myself!",
    RAZOR = "A sharpened rock tied to a stick. Hygienic!",
    REDGEM = "It is warm to the touch.",
    RED_CAP = "It smells funny.",
    RED_CAP_COOKED = "It's different now...",
    RED_MUSHROOM =
    {
      GENERIC = "It's a mushroom.",
      INGROUND = "It's sleeping.",
      PICKED = "I wonder if it will come back?",
    },
    REEDS =
    {
      BURNING = "That's really burning!",
      GENERIC = "It's a clump of reeds.",
      PICKED = "I picked all the useful reeds.",
    },
        RELIC = 
        {
            GENERIC = "Ancient household goods.",
            BROKEN = "Nothing to work with here.",
        },
        RUINS_RUBBLE = "This can be fixed.",
        RUBBLE = "Just bits and pieces of rock.",
    RESEARCHLAB = 
    { 
      RESEARCHLAB = "It's a science... thing.",
      BURNT = "It won't be doing much science now.",
    },
    RESEARCHLAB2 = 
    {
      RESEARCHLAB2 = "I have no idea how this works",
      BURNT = "The extra science didn't keep it alive.",
    },
    RESEARCHLAB3 = 
    {
      GENERIC = "What is this even?",
      BURNT = "Whatever it was, it's burnt now.",
    },
    RESEARCHLAB4 = 
    {
      GENERIC = "It's an, uh, ...Hat?",
      BURNT = "A burnt huge hat",
    },
    RESURRECTIONSTATUE = 
    {
      RESURRECTIONSTATUE = "This icon is flowing with dark magic.",
      BURNT = "Not much use anymore.",
    },
    RESURRECTIONSTONE = "It emanates unholy power.",
    ROBIN =
    {
      GENERIC = "They sing beautifully.",
      HELD = "It's terrified.",
    },
    ROBIN_WINTER =
    {
      GENERIC = "It's kind of majestic for a bird.",
      HELD = "It's scared of me.",
    },
    ROBOT_PUPPET = "It's trapped!",
    ROCK_LIGHT =
    {
      GENERIC = "A crusted over lava pit.",
      OUT = "Looks fragile",
      LOW = "The lava's crusting over.",
      NORMAL = "Nice and comfy.",
    },
    ROCK = "I sometimes wish I could live under one of those at day.",
    ROCK_ICE = 
    {
      GENERIC = "A very isolated glacier.",
      MELTED = "Nothing useful until it freezes again.",
    },
    ROCK_ICE_MELTED = "Nothing useful until it freezes again.",
    ICE = "'Ice' is roughly how I would decribe my boss.",
    ROCKS = "Let's rebuild the Hellsing Mansion.",
    ROOK = "I wish I had my anti-tank rifle right now",
    ROPE = "Some short lengths of rope.",
    ROTTENEGG = "Ew! Wish I didn't have an improved sense of smell!",
    SANITYROCK =
    {
      ACTIVE = "The darkness, it calls to me!",
      INACTIVE = "Where did the rest of it go?",
    },
    SAPLING =
    {
      BURNING = "That's burning fast!",
      WITHERED = "It might be okay if it was cooler.",
      GENERIC = "A sapling cursed with eternal youth.",
      PICKED = "Only fire slays them.",
    },
    SEEDS = "Birds like these.",
    SEEDS_COOKED = "I cooked all the life out of 'em",
    SEWING_KIT = "I'm not very good at sewing.",
    SHOVEL = "I could dig my own grave with this.",
    SILK = "I'm not really a fan of silk clothes.",
    SKELETON = "Not my fault! I mean. Obviously not...",
    SCORCHED_SKELETON = "Spooky.",
    SKELETON_PLAYER = "Not my f... wait what?!",
    SKULLCHEST = "I'm not sure if I want to open it.",
    SMALLBIRD =
    {
      GENERIC = "It's a really cute baby bird.",
      HUNGRY = "It wants food.",
      STARVING = "It looks starved!",
    },
    SMALLMEAT = "Blood coated parts of a small animal.",
    SMALLMEAT_DRIED = "It's jerky.",
    SPAT = "What a crusty looking animal.",
    SPEAR = "Anti-vampire stake XXL.",
    SPIDER =
    {
      DEAD = "Ewwww!",
      GENERIC = "It's a freaky spider monster of some sort.",
      SLEEPING = "It looks scary even while sleeping.",
    },
    SPIDERDEN = "Reminds me of stepping into an office full of ghouls.",
    SPIDEREGGSACK = "I hope these don't hatch in my pocket.",
    SPIDERGLAND = "Improvised bandage.",
    SPIDERHAT = "I don't really want to be the the queen of monsters.",
    SPIDERQUEEN = "I think I'm going to develop Anachrofobia!",
    SPIDER_WARRIOR =
    {
      DEAD = "Whew!",
      GENERIC = "I'm not sure if I want to fight that.",
      SLEEPING = "I should keep my distance.",
    },
    SPOILED_FOOD = "It's a furry ball of rotten food.",
    STATUEHARP = "What has happened to the head?",
    STATUEMAXWELL = "A tribute to insanity. Reminds me of Alucard.",
    STEELWOOL = "Scratchy metal fibers.",
    STINGER = "Looks sharp!",
    STRAWHAT = "Protection from sunlight.",
    STUFFEDEGGPLANT = "I cooked it myself!",
    SUNKBOAT = "It's no use to me out there!",
    SWEATERVEST = "This vest is dapper as all get-out.",
    REFLECTIVEVEST = "Keep off, evil sun!",
    HAWAIIANSHIRT = "It's not lab-safe!",
    TAFFY = "I cooked it myself!",
    TALLBIRD = "It's a monster bird of some sort.",
    TALLBIRDEGG = "Will it hatch?",
    TALLBIRDEGG_COOKED = "I guess I could give it to someone?",
    TALLBIRDEGG_CRACKED =
    {
      COLD = "I think its freezing!",
      GENERIC = "its hatching!",
      HOT = "I think it's too hot.",
      LONG = "This might take a while.",
      SHORT = "It should hatch any time now.",
    },
    TALLBIRDNEST =
    {
      GENERIC = "That's quite an egg!",
      PICKED = "The nest is empty.",
    },
    TEENBIRD =
    {
      GENERIC = "It has grown pretty big.",
      HUNGRY = "I'd better find it some food.",
      STARVING = "It has a dangerous look in its eye.",
    },
    TELEBASE =
    {
      VALID = "It's ready to go.",
      GEMS = "It needs more purple gems.",
    },
    GEMSOCKET = 
    {
      VALID = "Looks ready.",
      GEMS = "It needs a gem.",
    },
    TELEPORTATO_BASE =
    {
      ACTIVE = "It's a gateway, I wonder if it can get me out of here?",
      GENERIC = "This appears to be a gateway to another world.",
      LOCKED = "There's still something missing.",
      PARTIAL = "It's missing pieces.",
    },
    TELEPORTATO_BOX = "This may control the polarity of the whole universe.",
    TELEPORTATO_CRANK = "Tough enough to handle the most intense experiments.",
    TELEPORTATO_POTATO = "This metal potato contains great and fearful power...",
    TELEPORTATO_RING = "A ring that could focus dimensional energies.",
    TELESTAFF = "It can show me the world.",
    TENT = 
    {
      GENERIC = "I'd prefer to sleep at day, but...",
      BURNT = "Nothing left to sleep in.",
    },
    SIESTAHUT = 
    {
      GENERIC = "Finally I can get out of that evil damned sun!",
      BURNT = "It won't provide much shade now.",
    },
    TENTACLE = "That looks dangerous.",
    TENTACLESPIKE = "It's pointy and slimy.",
    TENTACLESPOTS = "I think these were its genitalia.",
    TENTACLE_PILLAR = "A slimy pole.",
    TENTACLE_PILLAR_ARM = "Little slippery arms.",
    TENTACLE_GARDEN = "Yet another slimy pole.",
    TOPHAT = "Not my style.",
    TORCH = "Gotta make sure I don't put myself on fire.",
    TRANSISTOR = "It's whirring with electricity.",
    TRAP = "I wove it real tight.",
    TRAP_TEETH = "This is a nasty surprise.",
    TRAP_TEETH_MAXWELL = "I'll want to avoid stepping on that!",
    TREASURECHEST = 
    {
      GENERIC = "Oh! Treasure!",
      BURNT = "That trunk was truncated.",
    },
    TREASURECHEST_TRAP = "How convenient!",
    TREECLUMP = "It's almost like someone is trying to prevent me from going somewhere.",
    TRINKET_1 = "These marbles have melted stuck.",
    TRINKET_10 = "Fortunately vampires can't lose their teeth.",
    TRINKET_11 = "Smart enough to lie to me, stupid enough not to stop.",
    TRINKET_12 = "It's a dry tentacle. I don't think anyone would want this.",
    TRINKET_13 = "I dunno.",
    TRINKET_2 = "This kazoo doesn't let air through.",
    TRINKET_3 = "I can't figure this knot out.",
    TRINKET_4 = "My aunt has tons of these creepy things.",
    TRINKET_5 = "It even has a tiny liquid fuel rocket engine built in.",
    TRINKET_6 = "If I knew anything about electronics these might be useful.",
    TRINKET_7 = "A decent way to waste time I guess!",
    TRINKET_8 = "How did a rubber bung end up there?",
    TRINKET_9 = "None of them has the right color for my uniform.",
    TRUNKVEST_SUMMER = "Wilderness casual.",
    TRUNKVEST_WINTER = "Winter survival gear.",
    TRUNK_COOKED = "I can't make a jacket out of this now...",
    TRUNK_SUMMER = "A light breezy trunk.",
    TRUNK_WINTER = "A thick, hairy trunk.",
    TUMBLEWEED = "Who knows what that tumbleweed has picked up.",
    TURF_CARPETFLOOR = "It's surprisingly scratchy.",
    TURF_CHECKERFLOOR = "These are pretty snazzy.",
    TURF_DIRT = "A chunk of ground.",
    TURF_FOREST = "A chunk of ground.",
    TURF_GRASS = "A chunk of ground.",
    TURF_MARSH = "A chunk of ground.",
    TURF_ROAD = "Hastily cobbled stones.",
    TURF_ROCKY = "A chunk of ground.",
    TURF_SAVANNA = "A chunk of ground.",
    TURF_WOODFLOOR = "These are floorboards.",
    TURKEYDINNER = "I wish I could eat this.",
    TWIGS = "It's a bunch of small twigs.",
    UMBRELLA = "This will keep my hair dry, at least.",
    GRASS_UMBRELLA = "This will keep my hair moderately dry, at least.",
    UNIMPLEMENTED = "It doesn't look finished! It could be dangerous.",
    WAFFLES = "I cooked it myself!",
    WALL_HAY = 
    { 
      GENERIC = "Hmmmm. I guess that'll have to do.",
      BURNT = "That won't do at all.",
    },
    WALL_HAY_ITEM = "This seems like a bad idea.",
    WALL_STONE = "That's a nice wall.",
    WALL_STONE_ITEM = "They make me feel so safe.",
    WALL_RUINS = "An ancient piece of wall.",
    WALL_RUINS_ITEM = "A solid piece of history.",
    WALL_WOOD = 
    {
      GENERIC = "Pointy!",
      BURNT = "Burnt!",
    },
    WALL_WOOD_ITEM = "Pickets!",
    WALL_MOONROCK = "Spacey and smooth!",
    WALL_MOONROCK_ITEM = "Very light but surprisingly tough.",
    WALRUS = "Walruses are natural predators.",
    WALRUSHAT = "It's covered with walrus hairs.",
    WALRUS_CAMP =
    {
      EMPTY = "Looks like somebody was camping here.",
      GENERIC = "It looks warm and cozy inside.",
    },
    WALRUS_TUSK = "I'm sure I'll find a use for it eventually.",
    WARG = "Baskerville!",
    WASPHIVE = "I think those bees are mad.",
    WATERMELON = "I like the colour.",
    WATERMELON_COOKED = "I've tried before. I simply can't eat this.",
    WATERMELONHAT = "Ew, I'll get all sticky.",
    WETGOOP = "I cooked it myself...",
    WINTERHAT = "Do I look good in this?",
    WINTEROMETER = 
    {
      GENERIC = "I am one heck of a scientist.",
      BURNT = "Its measuring days are over.",
    },
    WORMHOLE =
    {
      GENERIC = "The creature is hiding.",
      OPEN = "It's probably trying to eat me.",
    },
    WORMHOLE_LIMITED = "I think it's sick or something.",
    ACCOMPLISHMENT_SHRINE = "It's an award of some sort.",      
    LIVINGTREE = "All my instincts are shouting, telling me to stay away from it.",
    ICESTAFF = "It's cold to the touch.",
    REVIVER = "At least it won't spread vampirism. I uh... hope?",
    LIFEINJECTOR = "The very essence of life!",
    SKELETON_PLAYER =
    {
      MALE = "%s must've died preforming an important experiment with %s.",
      FEMALE = "%s must've died preforming an important experiment with %s.",
      ROBOT = "%s must've died preforming an important experiment with %s.",
      DEFAULT = "%s must've died preforming an important experiment with %s.",
    },
    HUMANMEAT = "Ah, um. Human... meat and... blood.",
    HUMANMEAT_COOKED = "I'm not a ghoul. Ew.",
    HUMANMEAT_DRIED = "'How to serve man'",
    MOONROCKNUGGET = "That rock came from the moon.",
  },
  DESCRIBE_GENERIC = "It's a... thing.",
  DESCRIBE_TOODARK = "It's too dark to see!",
  DESCRIBE_SMOLDERING = "That thing is about to catch fire.",
  EAT_FOOD =
  {
    TALLBIRDEGG_CRACKED = "Mmm. Beaky.",
  },
}
